Of Water And Mirrors
by Sylina1
Summary: Daisuke comforts Ken in his moment of need (contains shounen-ai; Kensuke - Ken/daisuke)


Disclaimer: digimon is not mine. If it was, Daisuke and Ken would be together, and Wormmon would  
still be alive. But, heck no! ^_^  
  
Author's Notes: this is my first Digimon fic (so please excuse any abnormalities!),  
it's short, and I think it's kinda...silly? but it's what I'd call a reflection fic. See if   
you can figure out what that means, and how it relates to the fic's title. I was  
inspired for this after watching "Crest Of Kindness" and trying to justify the disturbing  
sorrow I felt for Wormmon's death. Yes, I know, I'm crazy. Not to mention one of my  
favorite songs kicked in and now it's also called songfic. :) The first song is "Without You"  
by the Dixie Chicks, and the line "You Shouldn't Kiss Me Like This" comes from the   
song of the same name, by Toby Keith.   
  
BTW, this is a DaisukexKen fic, (I hope I'm using that term right!), with plenty  
of angsty stuff, plus a bit of romance, or Shounen-Ai as I hear it's called.  
Nothing beyond kissing, though.   
  
Of Water And Mirrors  
By Sylina  
  
_It wasn't supposed to end like this,_ Daisuke thought bitterly.  
  
He had never been so happy and yet felt so guilty about it.  
Sure, they had defeated the Digimon Emperor. But for what?  
For Ken to be without a partner? Wormmon shouldn't have had  
to die.   
  
Daisuke never thought he could see a creature love someone that  
much, even a Digimon. Never had he imagined that the little  
worm cared that much for Ken to be able to give his own life to  
save him. There was only one creature in this world that he felt  
that way about, and that was Veemon. Veemon was his main   
reason for living. Ken was the other.  
  
Even so, he couldn't begin to imagine the pain Ken was feeling right now.  
Not only was he having to come to terms with all the pain he caused, but  
he was dealing with his own pain, of losing the one thing in his life that  
openly cared for him. He'd thought Ken was crazy before, but now, he couldn't  
blame the boy a bit if he went crazy for real.  
  
_He needs to know someone still loves him...That Wormmon wasn't the only one._  
Daisuke knew it was time. Leaving Veemon asleep on the bed, he got up and left,  
not even bothering to say anything to his parents, who probably weren't even  
home anyway.   
  
*****   
Oh, Wormmon...why'd you leave me?  
  
// 'Cause without you I'm not okay  
And without you I've lost my way//  
  
If I had the guts to kill myself now, I'd do it...that's all I deserve. I don't deserve to live!  
  
I hurt all those Digimon as if they were nonexistant. As if they had no needs, no feelings,  
just because I was their self-proclaimed emperor! How could I have fallen so far, so fast? Is  
this what the voice kept warning me about? Being pulled in by my own darkness?  
  
I was so cruel...god, why do I have to remember? I don't want to remember!   
And yet I keep hearing it, seeing it, feeling it! The weight of the whip smacking against  
the ground, the laugh.... the sound and feel of my subdued Wormmon...  
How I wish I could turn back time. Or erase my memories.  
  
//well I never thought I'd be  
lying here without you by my side//  
  
I don't deserve to be let off that easily. I practically killed the only one that loved me.  
Okay, so I didn't make him do what he did, but it was my actions that caused it... he  
did it willingly, he... sacrificed himself for me. For me! I didn't deserve a friend like that,   
even if I could bring him back, I'm not worthy of him. I never was. Didn't I promise him  
once that we'd be together forever?  
  
//it seems unreal to me  
that the life you promised was a lie//  
  
And the worst thing is that I want it all back! I want to be like that again. I just...  
I don't know. At least that way people feared me. They wouldn't mess with me.   
No one disrespected me. No one _dared_ to. I was somebody. Not just a genius,  
but someone with power. Control.   
  
It's all so confusing. I don't know what I want anymore or what I deserve. All  
I know is I could never join the Digidestinied, as I should. No one likes me anymore.  
I don't see how they could. I'll be an outcast all my life, never to be a normal child  
or even to love. How could anyone love me?  
  
****  
  
Daisuke stood in the doorway, listening to Ken's quiet sobs. The very sound wrenched  
his heart and seared his soul, as he thought of everything that Ken must have been going   
through, and would, for the rest of his life. Daisuke knew what he was thinking just by the  
sound of the sobs he emitted, by the dispairing look on his face.... he had to let him know,  
had to tell him. Trembling, the words finally fell from his mouth, and he felt months worth  
of wait fall from his shoulders.  
  
"Ken... I just wanted to tell you I forgive you."  
  
_Damn! That didn't come out right._ He thought bitterly. His mind  
had switched it out at the last moment.   
  
:"But... I hurt you! I hurt your friends, I made you...submit to me..."  
_No, no, I don't want to think about that!_ Ken fiercely tried to fight  
back those feelings again. How could they still feel so...so right?   
"I hurt everyone!"   
  
"Ken." Daisuke stepped forward, climbing up on Ken's bed and putting his  
hands on the others' shoulders. "It's alright. I don't mind. At least not that  
last part, anyway. It's something more of...a fond memory."  
  
"It is?" Ken looked up at him with tear-filled eyes. "But why?"  
  
"Because for one moment, you were concentrating on _me._ No one else.  
For that moment, I was the only one in your world. 'Sides, for some reason  
it just felt...well..." Daisuke moved even closer, relishing just being so close to him.  
  
"Right?" Ken asked, surprised that the other would have felt the same way.  
Could it be? Were they destinied for each other?  
  
"Yeah." Daisuke nodded, and then took Ken by surprise and moved in.  
Feelings gripped him that were too confusing to identify as he kissed   
the one that he loved, and all of them faded to surprise when Ken kissed back.  
  
Ken moved his head back and Daisuke could see the tears glistening in his eyes.  
"You shouldn't kiss me like this, Daisuke.... not unless you mean it like that."   
  
Daisuke smiled, a bittersweet smile, and pulled the other boy to him in a tight  
embrace as they resumed the kiss. "But I do Ken. I do."   
  
"I'm sorry, D'suke." After a few moments, Ken bit his lip and looked down at the   
bed. "I wish I could take it all back." He shivered in Daisuke's arms.   
  
"It's alright, Ken. It's gonna be okay." Daisuke held him close, running his hands  
over Ken's soft blue hair. He felt his own tears welling up again at the thought  
that Ken might just love him back...that maybe they were ment to be together.  
"It has to be, because I love you."   
  
Ken sighed softly and leaned into Daisuke's chest, closing his eyes. "You too,   
D'suke." Maybe everything wasn't going to be alright, but as long as they  
had each other, and their Digimon friends, then there would be something  
worth fighting for.  
  
~The End~  
  
Author's final note: Isn't the ending silly? ^.^ 


End file.
